Life in the world of V

Life has been chaotic to say the least. In the last two weeks I have survived an ice storm that just about did me in, the boys and I have the flu and puking all over the house in the middle of the night thanks with no electricity to be able to see the puke I was trying to clean up. After the flu I lost 13lbs and could not eat for about a week, which was great until I ate my first hamburger and put all 13lbs back on. I'm an idiot.

We've also been going through some rough times with the Army side of our life. It's hard for me to handle these things when he is so far away. My husband I'm sure it goes without saying is very important to me and I tend to bring the claws out when he's being attacked and unfortunately my claws are getting tired from being out for far to long.

My oldest is finally out of his cast which we were all really excited about until we realized that he still would not be able to walk properly for a while and is still using his crutches. This frustrating for all of us.

Today was my daughters 12th birthday. Her father sent her 3 beautiful roses to school where she burst into tears but was very happy.

Tomorrow is my youngest sons 8th birthday. It's all been a lot to handle trying to deal with my kids growing older while their dad is gone.

Now we are gearing up for our Christmas weekend of fun, I have promised my children a weekend devoted to them no work, no FRG, no drama from the outside sources that usually provide it. First though is my company's Christmas party which last year provided nothing but fun, can you say OPEN BAR??

The God's Must Be Crazy!

So last night I brought home a new dog... let me introduce you to Angus (on the left) he is a very sweet 6 month old pure bred dapple Dachsund. Ollie (on the right) really digs Angus, Angus is reserving judgment on Ollie. Life should be interesting around these parts for quite some time.


Please ignore the mountains of clothes behind them, I am trying to hang up a crap load of laundry.

Is this high school or politics? Or is there a difference?

I found this story rather amusing, and strangely gets me excited at the prospect of bringing Bill Clinton back to the White House even without Hillary there. But if she does not get the party nomination and Obama does would Bill stand by his woman and not accept the position?

Obama to Offer Bill Clinton a Job?

By David Knowles
Nov 30th 2007 8:48AM

Filed Under:Hillary Clinton, Democrats, Barack Obama, 2008 President

As the presidential campaign winds its way down to the Iowa caucuses, the verbal sparring between candidates has grown more personal in nature. On the Democratic side of the equation, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have been calling each other out by name on a regular basis, Hillary questioning Obama's experience, and Obama wondering aloud about Clinton's judgment. So it may come as a surprise, that in the midst of this rhetorical warming period, who Obama has declared he would offer a position in his administration. Answer? None other than Hillary's hubby, Bill.

During an interview with Time magazine, Obama was asked if he'd consider hiring the former president.

A job for Hillary, as well? Not so much. During a chat with ABC news earlier this week, Obama leveled some not-so-veiled-criticism of the New York senator's claim of having ample experience by way of comparison to his own wife, Michelle.

"I don't think Michelle would claim that she is the best qualified person to be a United States senator by virtue of me talking to her on occasion about the work that I've done,"

Hillary counters that her eight years in the White House were not just about photo-ops with school kids. Rather, she declares herself as having been, "fully immersed in the daily operation of the West Wing." In other words, as we all known by now, when Bill was elected, she got a job, too.

Another person who might be hired if Obama manages to defeat the former First Lady is former Vice President, Al Gore. In response to Time asking about Gore, however, Obama stated that he would wait an additional :59 seconds after hiring Bill before taking on Al, as well.

Time:
Would you offer him [Gore] a job in an Obama Administration?
Obama:
In a minute.

So you see, a vote for Barack Obama is a vote for Clinton/Gore, while vote for Hillary is also a vote for Bill, but maybe not Al. Since only one of the two candidates can win, I think it's safe to say each should play it safe, and not quit his or her day job. Bill's prospects, on the other hand, are looking damn good.

I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.

So last night I volunteered once again to host a "get together" for a bunch of Army Wives.

I have to come up with a theme.

So I'm lame


I'm thinking a wii sports party, something about watching a bunch of Army wives punch each other out while boxing even if it is virtually, sounds like a lot of fun!

Christmas Puke Outside

Christmas Puke Inside

The inside and outside of my house looks like this guy decorated it. Pictures to come as soon as pull all of the tinsel from around my fingers.




Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Chanukah.

Who doesn't like a good tubber every now and then?

In order to avoid fights in your house during the holidays please go to the wonderfully informative website and enlighten yourself...


http://www.sweetpotatoawareness.org/

Prose before hoes

I've been very busy. Doing what you ask?? Well I'm not really sure. Lately I have been making sure I'm about to gag on the amount of stress I cause myself. I've been working late every night both at work and at home.

I'm lonely, but not in the way that I never have anyone around, more in the way I need someone around to have good conversation with. Intelligent conversation on what is going on in the world would be really great right now.

A Sad Country Song

I swear sometimes my life seems a like a really sad/bad country song. The saying when it rains it pours has certainly applied to me in recent weeks. I must have some kind of terrible Karma, because damn has life sucked!! We've had money issues, surprise bills popping up, broken ankle, flu, cysts, sinus infections, cars breaking, brand new furniture breaking, issues with my husband's job, issues with my job. I'm beat, I have never been as stressed out as I am right now. I am literally dog paddling to keep my head above water.

I hate that my first post in quite a few days is one of serious bitching, but very few good things are happening right now.

I think getting back to blogging will help me put things into prospective and hopefully be able to compartmentalize things after seeing them written down.

Oh and please don't let me forget the HELL of Christmas shopping by yourself for three kids while your life is in shambles, not a good time.

Please tell me this was the Trick part of Trick or Treat

Last night when I went to pick up my oldest son from his Wrestling team I was sitting in my car at about 5:30pm when a kid came running out to my car telling me something happened.

I went in and my child was a lump on the floor not moving. He said he heard his ankle pop and was begging not to be moved. His coaches and I looked at it and it didn't look like much but we called the ambulance anyway, they came out wrapped it up and we all pretty much thought it was sprained. I took him to the Emergency room anyway straight from the school.

About 30 minutes into being in ER he was in some pretty serious pain. It was terrible, he's not a very emotional kid, but he was begging me to do something, that's when I realized it was bad. I had to stand behind him where he couldn't see me to rub his head, because I was tearing up so bad. It took forever for them to to X-Ray it because there were some very serious emergencies ahead of us. Once the Doctor looked at the X-Ray he came right in had the nurse shoot him up with a very heavy dose of some narcotic pain killer which knocked him right out. The doctor told me it was broken, and broken bad. He showed the X-Ray to me and it was completely broken across the from of the ankle. It was strange because there was very little swelling and no bruising. They couldn't even cast it in the ER because we had to see an orthopedist.

The next day after battling with the insurance company and nurses and doctors I got him into an orthopedist who was great, they put him in temporary cast, we went through 3 more rounds of X-Rays, I took him to my girlfriend who is a physical therapist for crutch training and finally we made it home where he's been pretty much ever since on the couch with his foot propped up.

We've had to make some modifications to the house and it's all been very interesting, he is such a huge help here that I can really tell all that he does because I've started doing it. I feel really bad, he's so bored and really is ready to get it all done with but we've got a nice long 6-8 weeks of recoup time.

Hopefully we won't go insane in the mean time! It's been a pretty rough week :(

This is one of the many reasons why I can say I have cool kids!

Just when I couldn't figure out what to get D that wasn't to young for Halloween, we came across the perfect costume a few weeks ago, and as much as I LOVED It I was afraid he wouldn't think it was cool, boy was I wrong. He LOVED it.


He so rocks!

This video serves two purposes...

1. grossing out my co-worker

2. satisfying a bit of my Sedaris family obsession





I had tears in my eyes after this one.

So since Robert Goulet is out for a bit...

who's going to appear around 3pm when my blood sugar and energy is low?




I hope you get better soon Robert Goulet!

No I didn't...

die of rat/mouse bites. And I am victorious!!!! I bought the sticky things and put them everywhere, I even spaced them so that little mouse feet couldn't fit in between because this mouse is that smart. Last night I heard him squealing and I had my son (I'm a wimp) slowly open the cabinet door, because of course I was thinking the mouse was going to jump out and kick my ass, and low and behold there was the enemy with his furry chin stuck to the sticky mouse pad, still alive and I'm sure incredibly humiliated. After I was sent screaming through my house and outside because my son threatened to throw it on me, I slept a lot better, and did not smell and mouse shit, it was great!

The best part is, my neighbor called a few minutes ago and said she saw a gigantic spider on my door and went to get something to kill it, when she came back it was gone... why did I move again??

I was never a fan of Chucke Cheese

A letter to the mouse in my house (very Seussical don't you think) who is mocking me...

Dear Mouse,

I truly believe you may be some kind of unnatural being, I have tried every way to eradicate you from my house, to include ways that would make my PETA membership canceled.

You laughed at my Mice Cubes (thanks Meg, they were no match for this beast)

The only person who was hurt by the mouse traps was me ( I swear I heard a strange squeaking laugh)

I think you used the moth balls as some form of exercise equipment probably to build up what I'm sure are six pack abs

You seemed to have ate my rodent poison thing that was "guaranteed" to work and you're still cooking

I've sprayed some strange aerosol substance the hardware store gave me everywhere and I believe you must have a Hazmat suit because it didn't effect you one bit.

At this point I would like to propose a deal, if you stop shitting under my bathroom sink and all over the belongings under the bathroom sink, I promise not to drop some kind of incendiary device down the whole you seem to be using to gain access to my bathroom cabinet.

Sincerely,
Publish Post
Erin a confirmed MUSOPHOBIA

I'm not sure if he does it for me anymore

I was watching the Carson Daily Last Call Show tonight and was absolutely shocked when I saw that he was having Morrisey on as a guest and then I was shocked at how old Morrisey is. I was a huge Morrisey fan when I was in high school, I had a Gigantic Morrisey poster hanging in my room, I was madly in love. I guess I expect those people that I was in love with "back in the day" to never grow up, that mean I'm growing up.

Any day now I will be one of those women who are to old to be "hanging out", the one's who should be at home rocking in their chairs nitting booties for their church groups. Vomit...

Things that are bugging me...

• My husband has not contacted me in a while
• I have a mouse who shits under my bathroom sink
• I still have no grass
• I wish late at night there was another adult to talk to when I'm bored
• My laundry still isn't done
• I'm broke as always and there is plenting of shopping I wish I could do
• Nobody has one the lottery, which means I haven't won the lottery
• I have to go to work tomorrow
• I have to wait 6 weeks for the resluts of the pap smear I had today to come back so that I can then go ahead and book my Colposcopy when it shows abnormal cells, can't I just skip the pap after 12 years and go straight to the Colposcopy?
• My anti-anxiety medicine smells like my dog's breath which in turn smells like poop, which makes it difficult to take

I'm sure there is plenty more, but I can't think anymore

And here's how it goes...

Clean the house-Half asked but it will do, I need to finish my bedroom right now
Clean the car-No, but I did ad the extra seat for the first time since I bought the car last year
Clean the dog (mouth included, I can't handle the poop breath anymore!)-No and he stinks more now :(
Get the dog's nails cut-No
Get my hair cut, and eye brows waxed it's time for a change and my uni brow is just not doing it for me- Yes and I love it, I'm so glad I did it.
Get the oldests hair cut, last weekend I got the youngest cut (Mohawk) then got home and realized holy cow the oldest looks like crap- No he has decided to grow it out again
Pick up the few groceries I need for the week-No, I still need to do this
Attend the Oktoberfest (I need a touch of Germany)-Yes and was definitely not a touch of Germany, it totally sucked!
Finish Laundry-No
Write two weeks of talk points for my radio bit-No, but I need to do it tonight

OK, so I am totally disappointed, this sucks, I didn't get shit done.

Over achiever

Ok so here is what I want to and will try to get done this weekend.

Clean the house

Clean the car

Clean the dog (mouth included, I can't handle the poop breath anymore!)

Get the dog's nails cut

Get my hair cut, and eye brows waxed it's time for a change and my unibrow is just not doing it for me

Get the oldests hair cut, last weekend I got the youngest cut (mohawk) then got home and realized holy cow the oldest looks like crap

Pick up the few groceries I need for the week

Attend the Oktoberfest (I need a touch of Germany)

Finish Laundry

Write two weeks of talk points for my radio bit

That's about it, we'll see come Sunday night how much I get done, this damn internet has some kind of strange hold on me and I'm finding it hard to get out of bed now.

One year and One Month

I started my job last year a month ago, I finally had my review today.

All in all it was good and I was happy. Apparently I need some help in the organizing department but, hell, I'm doing all of the work for our whole department right now, because the new girl is incompetent so my desk looks like crap. I am being recognized for it and I appreciate it.

I'm still bitter about the incident last month over the other position I wanted but they seem to understand and they thanked me for not letting it effect my job performance.

Long story short, I did get a raise and it will be retroactive to include the month of September. I really need the money right now so I am very thankful!

The picture is of the radio station I work at from our very very high tower!!!

There's nothing on TV

I've tried to read and usually it's what I love, but lately it's not enough. Actually nothing is really enough right now. I am trying so hard to forge friendships with my neighbors and to meet new people, but I am so distracted it's hard to keep track of conversations, I've noticed myslef being very rude and while someone is telling me something I will break into the conversation and ask a question or say something completely off topic. It's rude and I'm afraid that people will think I'm rude, I'm just so damned distracted, my thoughts are everywhere at once.

I need someone to please come to my house and help me find my Palm Pilot, I don't know where I put it and I think it would help right now.

The lazy man's shoe tying method....

Last night we went to the Elementary Schools open house and my youngest son just HAD to have these elastic, bungee, shoe lace things.

I was shocked that these were being sold as a fund raiser at the school. What about all of the younger kids who don't know how to their shoes??? This has got to be the laziest thing I have ever seen.

Oh and last night I put them in my son's shoes and this morning the shoes were a royal PITA to put on.

I am SO glad I spent $4 on this.

Have I mentioned I hate fund raisers?

Heard a little song, it goes like this...

M called me at work today on what I would have thought if I didn't know any better was a complete acid trip. She said she made up a new song and it was stuck in her head. Here are the words to the song...

Policio Policio Polici lici lou

Policio Polico Polici lici lou

Followed by two honks of a very obnoxious birthday horn

I probably shouldn't have tainted my eggs with all of those drugs in high school.

It was terrible, the song continued even after dinner. It is now almost 9pm and thankfully she is to busy playing Guitar Hero to continue singing. There is a god and he created video games!

The picture is of M all dressed up to go to a "Hollywood" dress up party thsi last weekend. She went as Audrey Hepburn, we're dorks, every other little girl was dressed as Paris Hilton and those types. I'm hoping this means my child is less likely to have an eating disorder or end up in jail, of heaven forbid purchasing a male chihuahua naming him Tinkerbell and dressing him in ridiculous outfits.

Where is that snooze button again?

So somebody tell me how I can just sleep through the next 15 frigging months of this deployment??

I wonder what the Soldiers thougt my husband really meant when he said "just because you will be deployed doesn't mean you can leave your problems behind." to me this statement says without pointing out exact examples with out fear of retribution (there is no real freedom of speech) pretty much clean up and don't leave any messes. It will still follow you onto your deployment, which then leads me to worry how my husband is handling cleaning up messes instead of concentrating on the deployment. Thanks assholes!

Forget the ASVAB you should have to take an asshole test before you join the military, there are many levels to being an asshole, some more acceptable than others, but a test could easily be created.

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Playing Catch up!!

Wow have I been busy! Here is a short re-cap of what I've been up to

Friday Night- Bunco with Army spouses, it never fails that I end up just sitting around bull shitting instead of playing, so I never win any prizes :(

Saturday- Had an FRG (Family Readiness Group) steering committee meeting at my house while fielding 3 million phone calls from other Army wives asking me to fix their problems. They were all very nice though so I didn't mind too much. After that I helped M get readyf ro her first dance, which included taking her shopping, I handed her over to another Mom who was driving and took the boys to their sleep over. After all of that I stopped at Wal Mart to pick up something to bring with me to a good bye party for one of my closest friends here. I was tehre until 11pm when I headed home.

Sunday-Drove 30 minutes to Target (it's crazy there isn't one here in my town) spent to much money but bought M a super cute sweater vest with skulls on it, picked up the boys, ran home did some laundry and then got M and two of her friends together to drive 2 hours to see Aly & AJ with 2000 other screaming girls, Aly & AJ are cute and they even had some decent music. Drove 2 hours home and pulled into the driveway at 11pm, crawled to bed only to not be able to sleep.

At some point I need things to slow down a bit!

What in the???

I came home from the oldest's football game to get my daughter from her friends house. I was talking to the friends mom when my daughter came running up to me to ask me if she could go to another friends house to play "Holocaust", um EXCUSE ME???

Before you flip out and think that we are secretly a family of Neo Nazis, my daughter who has had the Holocaust taught to her in every class for the last two years thanks to the fact that we lived in Germany for so long, is reading the book Number of the Stars for probably the 30th time. If you haven't read it I highly suggest it. Louis Lowry is wonderful and wrote one of my all time favorite book The Giver which you should buy and read IMMEDIATELY!

So I of course delved into the how they were actually playing a game called "Holocaust", it turns out it's a lot like playing house only my daughter is a Danish Jew who is in hiding in a room the size of my closet (it actually was my closet about an hour ago). The game is great! They all have to be really quiet so that they aren't overheard by the pig headed Nazi's, ok, they didn't say pig head Nazi's but whatever. I highly suggest you introducing the game to your house when you would like a little peace and quiet, and of course it's all in the name of education!

So since I HATE my job...

I've decided to do some online boot shopping/gazing.

What do you think???

This Bites!

My job sucks, I'm really unhappy right now. I was passed over for a job at work, so that they could hire the person that quit back. I must have not even come close to getting the job.

I feel like an idiot.

I swear I ahte bitching...

Ok, not really I LOVE bitching, and everyone knows it!

Today I am going to be oh so original and bitch about the weather. On Saturday we had the oldest kid's Birthday party at the beach at our local lake. We had a fabulous time! Not to cold not to hot, I even added to my tan, I was relaxed and really enjoyed it. Yesterday the weather really cooled off. I told my neighbor how much I loved the change and opened my windows up and turned off the AC, I was excited!

Today I'm freezing my butt off and it's raining like cat's and dog's, I hope this winter is easier than last year. I mean, hello I'm from Florida!

I am off to find the ugliest most offensive winter boots ever, so I can laugh at myself all winter.

He is so smart!

I got my first phone call from my husband since he left. It was short but great.

I miss him so much!

The Goodness of People

Today is my birthday, and a woman I have known for only a few weeks just came by and brought me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and a gift certificate for one hour Swedish massage, and before you ask hell yes she's my new best friend.

My friend at work on Friday brought in a fabulous Birthday cake for me.

I have really realized I am lucky and loved.

Nothing could be better.

Sucky

Today was a crappy day, my eyes sting and I have a raging headache, I wish I could lay down bbut my house is a wreck from all of the hubby's packing and I won't truly be able to rest until it's clean.

Overheard in my bedroom (creepy, huh)

Last night while laying in bed my legs which are always sore and bothering me at night were really an issue so I kept moving them. V asked me what was wrong and instead of saying I thought I had Arthritis in my legs I said I thought I had Alzheimer's in my legs. Well, of course he's getting a great laugh out of that, he's already asked me if my legs remember where they are, this should be a fun day!

krakatoa's revenge

I am sitting here listening to the History channel as my husband sleeps on the couch. I'm wondering how many "little" things that drive me nuts I will miss over the next 15 months. Will I watch the History Chanel just to feel closer to him? Will I miss his made up songs that he sings in the shower every morning at the top of his lungs? How about when he comes home and all I want is some quiet and he's louder and more wild then all three kids, will I miss that?

We've been married for a long time and as much as he used to be gone all the time at the beggining of our marriage he has certainly been home a lot the last few years. Believe me I'm thankful, but at the same time I feel incredibly vulnerable, and I'm afraid I've left myslef open to some major emotions when he leaves.

When he is home because of his job position most the time he works ridiculously long hours and we can sometimes go days without really seeing each other, but I know where he is and I know he's safe. I know if I need him I can call his cell, like Ido 100 times a day. I've set myself up for failure depending on him to be there so much for me.

Most people who know me would laugh if I told them how much I truly depend on my husband and really need him in my life. Hell, he would probably laugh. I think I come off extremely self-reliant, maybe even cold as far as emotions go, but it's all a facade. I think like most people I only really let people see and know what I want them to. Really I'm scared that I may not be adult enough to handle taking care of this house and our children on my own 15 months. People tell me constantly how strong I am and how I can definitely get through, but can I???

I guess the next 15 months will tell. Hopefully I will find a way to let him know how much he means to me before he goes, I don't think I allow him to know now. It's one of my biggest regrets.

Slipped Away

Last Thursday was my oldest son's 13th birthday, I didn't blog about it because I kind of had a hard time with it. I mean holly crap I have a teenager! I'm not so sure I am that great of a mother. I let my kids watch WAY to much TV and eat WAY to much junk food. I'm surprised one of my children made it to 13.

He's a great kid always has been. Hopefully my parenting skills, or lack thereof will not completely ruin his first year as a teenager.

They really do grow up way to fast!

The picture is him blowing a candle out we had stuck in a taco, we did cake a few days before when my Mother in Law was visiting so his actual "Birthday" was pretty anti-climatic. The big Party will be this weekend, I can't wait- NOT!!!

Pictures of the Rennaissance Fest ( in no particular order, becuse I'm lazy)

This Dude was great! His sole purpose was to sit there and be an Ass, I now know what V can do when he retires.

I always knew V was a big fat king

My own "Vulgarians"

M Square Dancing, or something like that

Don't they look so excited to be there???

M and I really dug the "Vulgarians" and their really awesome and bright costumes!

M the Mermaid

D and M chillin' at the Ren Fest

A I were sticking sour gummy worms up our nose on the way there. Good times.

Men in tights

I went here today and took over 150 pictures, it was a blast. Hopefully I will find my uplink cable for my camera, yes I lost that also, and share some of our adventures.

New Order

Weird things are afoot with the job I want. I recieved a strange email and it left me feeling umcomfortable and irritated about the job. Seems someone has the idea for a Bizarre Love Triangle, and I'm just not down for it. Good lord could someone just make a decision already.

Digging out!

Holly shit am I swamped today!!! To many things going on!

Oh and I went to an impromptu wedding today, it was different.

To weird for color TV

Yesterday I went to my husband's Brigade Deployment ceremony. While I was sitting in the hot baking sun staring at the huge American Flag standing behind the hundreds on Soldiers standing in formation I started thinking how in the hell did I get here?? Never did I ever go to career day and say I want to be a wife and a mommy when I grow up, much less and Army wife. For god's sake I absolutely love my country, I've traveled all over in different countries and as much as I love those other countries I know life here in the states is pretty sweet. But an Army wife?? But I love it, and I've done it for so long now I'm institutionalized. I get scared at the thought of what will happen when V finally does retire. As much as I don't want it to be part of my identity has become Army wife. Realizing this is strange to me, I mean don't get me wrong I have my own life and I do plenty of things that are MY OWN, but still I have to move when HE gets orders to go somewhere new, I have to change jobs, I have to deal long and numerous deployments, it is a huge part of my life. It's just crazy how far from what I thought it would it be.

Golden Crickets...

I am literally driving myself crazy! Remember this? Well I've done it again. I officially can't find ANYTHING! Seriously I have lost my keys, the upload cord for my digital camera, paperwork, a book for one of my classes, and probably a couple more things I don't even know are missing yet.

I'm blaming it on the Deployment. In fact I'm going to spend the next 15 months blaming everything on the deployment. Everyone will get sick of it very quickly, it'll be great!

As I was leaving work yesterday I reminded my boss that I would be out for sometime today, he very nicely looked at me and said I could have the whole day off. I hope I'm not fired.

I still haven't heard about the new position at work, but I haven't heard of anyone else being considered so maybe I'll get it by default.

The picture is of this lego like set that Office Depot sent me for work, it's great I want the whole set.

There is a cricket in/outside my bedroom that is keeping me up at night. This just may be the loudest cricket I've ever seen. I can't find it in my bedroom even though my room is minimalistic (is that even a word). When I do find the cricket I hope it's like seven feet long and made of gold so I can sell it on Ebay and it will be worth the 5 days of lost sleep I've incurred.

Is it obvious I'm sleep deprived??

I can so relate....

Read this

Champagne Supernova

I went to the first of many goodbyes I will have to say in the next couple of weeks.

It sucked! Typically in the past when V deployed his pager would go off, he would leave and then he would come 6+ months later, we wouldn't talk to him, there was no big fan fare when he left or when he came back.

Then I thought it was terrible and I was jealous of other wives who got all of those things. Now, I'm not sure I want the big fan fare, maybe the way it was, just him leaving with a kiss and a hug is the way to go.


Watching all of the families crying as they said their goodbyes last night really sucked. I was completely drained afterwards.

The worst part was even though V is leaving he is still not getting home from work until 9:30, so much for spending the last days with your family.

I'm going to burst!!!

So there is this new position at work that I really really really want!!! There are quite a few reasons that this position would be good for me and I would be good for it. Now I just have to prove to the people who make the decisions that I can handle it even though my husband will be gone and that they will not get screwed with my current position. This position would put me home in the afternoons with the kids which would be the ultimate, the not so great part would be getting up at the ass crack of dawn, but I will sacrifice and take my Ambien regularly.

Please keep your fingers crossed, I really need this job change!!

I wish...

my oldest child felt this way, or that I wouldn't push him so much to not feel this way.

As seen on Post Secret

Mystery Men

Ok, so I was talking with someone last night at our final Pre-Deployment Briefing and I guess since I work in Radio every Army wife, and I mean it only Army wives seem to do this, thinks they can tell me all about their crappy taste in music. No I don't know what the new Garth Brooks CD is going to sounds like, I don't work in a country station, no I can not get you tickets to the Spice Girl Reunion Tour (although secretly deep down I want to see this as well). I haven't listened to Ace of Base since I was in Middle School, so I have no idea what is going on with them, hopefully they're living comfortably somewhere in Europe.

Why oh why can't find someone who shares my musical taste, which is broad I swear, but really I just want someone to be as excited as I am for the Scarlett Johanson CD covering Tom Waits songs...

Where am I again???

I'm losing it! I just had a panic attack because I've miss placed some papers with some pretty important info on it. I went running home to look everywhere, thankfully my suspended child was home to help me go nuts looking for this paperwork.

30 minutes after searching the same places over and over again, I realized I had the info I needed in one of my e-mail accounts.

My kid now knows I'm crazy, he should worry...

I thought I may have early signs of dementia, until I read this article

I unfortunately don't seem to be losing any weight and continue to tell people I'm trying to lose my "baby fat" from my last pregnancy, you know the one that was 7 years ago...

Is it my turn yet??

I think as a military wife I have a few more obstacles and hurdles to jump over than civilian wives. I'm not saying I'm better just that my life is a bit more unique.

Yesterday I received call from my husband telling me that our son was suspended from school. This is my oldest son, the one who is so sweet and mild mannered, the one I really worry about the most. He has a weight problem, but we're working on it. Kids can be so cruel and I guess he just had enough yesterday and hit someone. In all honesty I'm not mad. The things this other child said to my child had tears in my eyes. I wanted to hit him also. So for the first time and hopefully the last he is suspended from school until Monday.

This got me to thinking though, maybe I shouldn't work outside the home anymore. Maybe I should be at home with them baking cookies and being Suzy homemaker. Maybe while the hubster is deployed I should not work and only work when he is home so I can make sure they have my un-interrupted attention.

I talked to a friend of mine yesterday who is also a working military wife, she found a note in her daughters room from someone saying she gave good blow jobs and she is now on birth control. Her daughter is 14. I don't know why this surprises me when I think how old I was when I started having sex, but it shocks and scares me for my children. She like me has now started thinking that maybe while her husband is deployed she shouldn't be working. This is my biggest fear that I will not do enough to prevent my children from getting an AIDS or using drugs, like all parents I want so much for them.

Why do we feel this would make a difference that when our husbands are gone, why wouldn't we just be stay at home moms all of the time? Somehow I have this added guilt that I brought my children into a life where not only does their mom work, but their Dad will miss a year + of their life on numerous occasions.

Just one more of the wonderful things I get to think about as we start this deployment.

Why do I have to work again?

So my husband has been on vacation for the last week and a half and I was with him every glorious moment for the first week. I finally took time off of work, something I'm not very good at doing. It was different for me to not really have anything to do, even though I had a TON of stuff to do. So V and I did not spend any time really relaxing and enjoying ourselves, instead we spent time getting the kids ready for school and then getting them off to school. I guess that's how it goes though, maybe we're just not the vacationing type.

So now the kids are in school and settled and I am back at work, and everything seems so normal. V is out with his mom playing golf and next Monday he will go back to work and all will be right with the world, except we are saying goodbye to our friends who are already leaving and it's weird watching their respective spouses go through the different emotions. I feel like I'm watching them go through something I won't have to deal with, it's almost like I say to myself "wow that's going to be so tough for her" and never do I really think "wow this going to be so tough for me".

It's 15 months, god 15 months, this sucks...

The one where everyone hate's me for getting mad at him before he deploys

The idea that I should walk on egg shells and not get mad at him for any stupid thing he does before he deploys is absolute horse shit! If you're an ass believe me I am the first to call you out as an ass, even if I'd prefer you would not do the same with me. So when my husband said something to my son last night about his weight issue, I lost it!!! I mean let's be real he doesn't do anything productive about it. He comes home every day and goes to bed early or lays on the couch watching TV/playing video games. Call me crazy for thinking that the last thing my son needs is a lecture from his father before he leaves his life for 15 months. I think I have the right to put my foot down on that one, after all I will be the only parent home for the next 15 months. Every aspect of our children's lives will be resting on my shoulders solely, so yes I have a say. NO I don't want to take all of his parental rights away from just because he's leaving but I would like to I don't know take it down a notch, especially when it comes to such a serious issue as our son's weight.

Of course because I jumped on him he said something pretty hurtful to me, if I had said it to him he would bring it back up a million times, but I am just supposed to forget he said it, even though it will be lingering in the back of my mind the entire time he's gone. So no I'm not jumping up and down to chit chat with you right now and no when you call me and say I'm going to be in such and such town all day and there's nothing to do, I know what you want me to do. You want me to plan an entire days worth of activities for you and your friends. Thanks for caring about whether or not I have the time to be your personal assistant all the times I truly appreciate it.

So you think you can Dance?

This week will hopefully be a quick one, I have Thursday off to attend one "V"'s unit functions and then next week I am completely off so I can spend the first half of "V"'s leave with him. The kid's were going to go to away camp for that week, but they've already been gone to much I'd rather have them stay with us. It's amazing how they can drive me crazy and the second their gone I want them to come back so fast!! It's the same with "V" he drives me nuts, but the minute he's gone I'm going to want him to come back immediately.

It's amazing how far we've come I realized recently, years ago I would have never felt as secure in my marriage as I do now. Years ago I never really believed that V and I would be together forever, we were young and boy did we have our problems. These days my marriage is what I wanted it to be from the beginning. And this is where I hate the fact that he's leaving.

My best friend will be leaving for 15 months and I'm not really sure how to deal with the loss because truly that's what it is, a loss. There are grieving periods and then periods where you know you can make it and then they come home for their R&R and you forget it all for the few short days their home, only to go through the grieving process all over again.

There are all these crazy statistics out there about how these long deployments are very harmful to the mental health of soldiers and their families and yet still we send them out there to live in constant awareness and fear for 15 months. I know that for 15 months my husband will be on edge non-stop. He will come home and not be the same person who left 15 months before. I know that the kids and I will live in constant fear for 15 months, worrying about the possibility that our biggest fear could come true.

So why is it that we really need to go through all of this? Do they really think we're all that strong?

Timeout!

Sometimes I just want to call a timeout on life! There is way to much to do before "V" leaves and just not enough hours to do it all. I need a personal assistant.

Breakdown! Go ahead and give it to me!

So I suck, I'm a terrible Army Wife, but I'm ready for my husband to leave already.

1. I've been preparing for this deployment for 1 1/2 years now, and I'm flipping over it

2. I want him to leave so I can begin missing him, while he's gone and not missing him while he's still here because he works so much.

3. The sooner he leaves the sooner he will be home

4. I'm being a bitch; I hate this deployment and sometimes find myself having even worse mood swings than normal and taking quite a bit out on him, which in turn makes me feel guilty and then my mood doesn't get any better.

5. He and I are so stressed out that we aren't enjoying anything any more. We had to move before he left and we're broke and that sucks, it's really pulling us at all angles.

So now I feel an immense amount of guilt for saying I'm ready for him to go and put himself in danger, but it's inevitable and I can't stop it, so let's just get on with it already.

Oh yeah, and I'm most likely going to have a breakdown before this is all through.

Deployment Briefings

Not only is my husband deploying but 170 other spouses from our company's soldiers are also deploying and somehow I feel responsible for making sure they are all ready for this deployment as well.

We have a big meeting coming up and I am frantically making copies of info that I need to get out to the spouses and trying to update all of their contact info so we don't lose touch with anyone over the next 15 months.

I really need to find time to sit down with our own children and answer any questions they may have and possibly try and make them feel more comfortable with the fact that they will not see their dad for the next 15 months.

15 months is a long time it's time we can't get back no matter how hard we try. This sucks.

I'm beat

So I couldn't sleep last night. I finally crawled into bed around 5:30 this morning waking my husband in the process.

There is way to much going on and my mind just won't rest which really cuts into my sleep time.

Already a Slacker

So my life is crazy, with my husbands upcoming deployment, full time job, 3 kiddos and volunteer commitments I have already found a way to neglect the blog I just recently started.

My family and I recently made a move to a new house and town. This is the shortest move we have ever made. We moved a whole 36 miles West. We thought it would be a better idea for us to live closer to my job while "V" was deployed and the shortened commute, which is now only 3 minutes is absolutely wonderful.

Most people think that I must be a moving pro, especially since I've moved 10 times in 13 years, but I just may be the worst packer and un-packer on the planet!! Thankfully my Mother in Law (who rocks!!) was in town to bring the kids back from their summer vacation and she is the best organizer ever, and she pretty much does everything for me.

This is a busy week for me. I have an Family Readiness Group meeting tomorrow evening, which I'm in charge of. On the 26th I have a deployment briefing and I still have to get the old house ready to be turned back over to our landlord. All this while working 8-5 everyday, good times.

My husband now has some roundabout dates on when he is leaving as well as his address where we can mail him things while he is deployed. This all makes it that much more real. I keep yelling at myself internally, I mean I should be used to this, it's not my first time dealing with a deployment. I just don't want to think or talk about it anymore right now.

Pre-Deployment

This is the first post in a long line of posts to come.

We are currently and have been for over a year in that awkward pre-deployment stage. It's the time before my husband will be leaving for the Middle East, the time when there is more than enough work for him to do in the Army and I already feel he's gone at times because of his long work hours. It's the time when I get so mad that he's leaving and I just want to scream at the top of my lungs because in 12 years of marriage I've had to go through this way to many times. It's the time when I get to prepare myself for 15 months of sleepless nights and single parenting, something I never realized I would honestly have to deal with when I married my soldier and our country was safely not in war. It's a time when I question whether I am really cut out to be an Army wife, oh sure I love my soldier and I can volunteer, and show up to all the spouse functions, but can I really make it through another long deployment without ending up in the nearest psych ward?

Most importantly it's a time when I feel genuinely alone. When even though there are hundreds of other spouses going through the exact same thing that I am, no one can relate to just how I feel. I'm not really sure I can truly relate to how I feel. My mood swings are uncontrollable, I've recently become known as a person who will break out in tears for no reason and god forbid you breath funny in front of me I just may take your head off. Unfortunately my extended family has not been understanding and considerate so in the midst of this long drawn out pre-deployment stage I have lost relationships with my family, the people who I had really originally counted on being there for me through thick and thin and even understanding I may not always be the nicest most stable person prior to sending my husband off to war.

I know it's going to be a long hard interesting 15 months.