Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

We love our Holiday's around here! Typically we go way overboard in the decorating, gift giving and general merry making that comes with the late year holidays but it's very important to us to do so! If you don't believe me just look at what the kids and I had going on in our small 1400 square foot house last year. This year will be even more special, the most wonderful guy in the whole world should with all my fingers and toes crossed be home for the first time in a ridiculously long time. I have dream of snuggling in front of one of our 5 Christmas trees with him and a cup of hot chocolate. I have huge Martha Stewart type dreams for this upcoming holiday season and I am hanging on with everything I have hoping they all come true!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Trashy is Fun!

This weekend I had a White Trash Bash at the house! It was a BLAST! I went to Goodwill and picked up new pictures for the house, went to Wal- Mart grabbed some awful fabric to throw over our couch as well as potted meat, PBR, Boones Farm and Pickled Pigs Feet.

It was a busy day for me the day of the party so I was smart enough to do most of the decorating the evening before. Everyone showed up and blew me away with their outfits. This may have been the best party we've had as far as attire goes. I would definitely do this again in! It was easy, cheap, and I consider the whole party to be a big charitable donation since most of the decor was purchased from Goodwill and will all be going back to Goodwill for re-selling.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Sureal Life

I can't seem to write anything lately, there' so much going on yet I can't put it into words. I'm having this same problem while talking to the hubster and unfortunately he's taking it as me being "emotionally withdrawn" I guess these are the problems couples have after being separated by distance for over 12 months.

It's getting old

Monday, October 13, 2008

Mother Warriors

My son is a beautiful, smart, loving boy, you wouldn't know it by looking at him, but he has Autism. When A was diagnosed, I felt completely lost, I didn't want to deal with the fact that my baby, was not "normal", I sunk myself into denial and went about raising our family as I had before the diagnosis was made. Life was so busy then, we had moved to our new home in Kansas a few months before, I worked full time, V an enormous work load as he geared up for his deployment and I had 2 other children who had very busy schedules as well. My way of coping with things has always been denial, it's easier for me to pretend that the big elephant in the corner just blends in with the wall paper rather than get up close to it and deal with it.
A and I have been struggling this last year, there are things even my closest friends don't know because I fear they won't understand. When people who have no idea what I am dealing with tell me it's normal that my almost 9 year old son chews his shirts until there are holes in the collar, I have thrown away 9 shirts in the last week. Or that it's normal that the first time my son looked me directly in the eyes to "talk" to me was in July when his soul was completely crushed after being kicked out of summer camp. Or that A is an outsider with his peer group, partly of his own volition and partly because I think A makes other children understandably nervous with some of his "radical" behavior, but all of this is "normal" behavior to friends of mine who make me feel small when I feel like I just need to vent, they make me feel like I'm full of it that I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I guess if A had a tumor growing out of the side of his face, then people would understand my feelings, but because A's "deformity" is not visible by the naked eye, then people assume I have a spoiled child that needs more discipline (spanking A does not work his pain receptors barely work) IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!! I am all alone in this, fighting for my child, and I just want someone to HEAR me! Honestly listen without judgement's without prejudice without one upping me with a story about your own child! I am lost here and I need someone to be here with me through this! I need someone who will understand.

I've just finished Reading Mother Warrior's by Jenny McCarthy and it's amazing! One story in particular was so close to A's story that while sitting on the plane trip from Washington DC to Chicago I had tears streaming down my face. It's an amazingly touching collection of stories of Parent's recovering their children's autism and facing down the critics with amazing strength, they give me hope!

**The Picture above is of A and his best friend, his Dad, on the day he left for his Deployment**

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Economic Crisis

What a whirlwind my trip to DC was! I will eventually settle in and write all about it, in the mean time, the oldest has a terrible cough, the youngest is having a mental breakdown, the dog has fleas, and the house is in shambles.

My middle kiddo is great though, so there is always that silver lining.