I'm pretty opinonated...I know this and I'm ok with it. I like that I have an opinion, like a friend told me today, if you say something to me you have to know I'm going to tell you how I feel or think about what you've said. Yesterday a friend of mine blindsided me and told me how she felt about me, she said I always have something to say about everything...if you read what I wrote above, I'm ok with someone saying that to me, but not in the delivery it was made. It was hurtful...and I was extremely taken back by the whole thing. There are things that bother me about all of my friends...and yes I usually complain about these things to other friends...I have a lot of friends who do this, I think it's cathartic...it doesn't mean I don't like them it just means they're DRIVING me NUTS ( it happens)!!! I'd like to think I'm a good friend, I try and go out of my way to help people, and I've noticed that a lot of my friends have called me to confide in me or tell me when somethings gone wrong and nine times out of ten they usually say it's because they felt like they could. I guess what I'm saying is I'm ok with being opinionated and always having something to say, I actually like that about myself, and I'm not going to change it. This is me, take it or leave it, but don't hurt my feelings, because I have them, and it hurts very badly coming from a friend...especially when it's not the first time. Again I respect anybody's opinion of me, just not always the delivery.
In other opinionated news...I'm missing "V" like crazy. I mean I'll make it a few more weeks, but darn it...we just had 16 LONG months apart, and I feel EXTREMELy vulnerable once again! "V" is my rock...my solid place...sometimes he drives me NUTS, but I think he's supposed to, and I miss him...I hope these next few weeks FLY by!
Ok, so you have written twice lately about being hurt by a friend. Out of curiosity (and the fact that I also ALWAYS have an opinion)are you talking about the same person? If yes, then I have to think this person is trying to hurt you for some reason, maybe it isn't necessarily intentional even. Maybe this person is frustrated/angry/sad/jealous/envious whatever for something you have currently that they don't. The fact that Dale is home, you guys are PCSing, plans you have for something, it could be a money issue, who knows but if I were you (and again IF this is the same person)I would have to think about what was going on when they said what they said, what had you been talking about etc. Also, would this person normally say something like that and you just took offense to it this time because you are stressed out? Or is this out of character for this person to have said? I hope this makes sense, my kids are making it really hard for me to form a complete thought today! ;O)
ReplyDeleteEither way, I'm sorry that this happened to you! Hope you have a good weekend!
Yeah, I agree with the above post. This is my thoughts: If she sat down with me and told me her side of the story, what would she say? What was her intentions? Was she hurt, too? Did she feel she needed to attack back? Sometimes when I am so frustrated and hate the person SO MUCH, I put myself gently into their shoes and look at the situation through their eyes. I KNOW you don't want to hear this--but I have realized it takes a hell of a lot more energy to be mad at someone than to understand them.
ReplyDeleteRelax...you are vulnerable--and people can smell blood...take care of yourself--I wish I was there to go get a pedicure with you. I can tell you are a giver friend. And, sometimes we just can't give much anymore. It is like, when is it your turn, right?
However, these friends of yours do love and appreciate you. You just sound depleted. Here is tissue...and a hug.
Oh - I'm so sorry! I'm sure she didn't mean it in a hurtful way if she is truly your friend. Sometimes things come out wrong.
ReplyDeleteI always take things very personally and over-analyze everything that people say. I am sure your friends love you and value you - especially since they confide in you.
((hugs))
Jen