You sound like crap

Why is that when you're sick people have a way of making you feel worse. Please do not tell me I sound like crap or look crap...right now I am crap, feel like crap and possibly even smell like crap, so thanks genious for pointing out the obvious. And if one more person tells me to go for the day I may scream, because I have no one here to do my job!!!!! I can't go home when I'm sick, my co-worker is a completely irresponsible nasty fully time employee with what she must assume to be part time hours and so only comes in on days she feels like and someone has to be here. so no I can't go home.

This also means that as I skulk around the building with my crappy body, you better believe I am infecting all of you...haha!

This probably make no sense at all, I've had way too much Theraflu today.

A Letter of Historical Signifigance

Dear V,

I am so very very overwhelmed by this election, what a landslide. I hope fact that Obama being such a historian that he learns the lessons of those who came beforehand him. He has the Senate behind him and it's a very historic time for all of us. I hope that if you are a god fearing man that you pray for tolerance and a will for all sides to work together because I believe that we will need those prayers. I listened to the excitement from our children tonight and my sister's excitement tonight being able to vote for the first time in her life and it all gives me goose bumps.

We all need to move together and we all need to look to the future for our children and the future of our country and this is the man who will bring this to us. After such a long long election Obama owes not one person anything he has made no promises of cabinet positions to anyone and his campaign started from a literal grass roots organization and grew to be the largest ever, look at what this man has accomplished.

It gives me so much hope and I am vesting all of my hopes and dreams in our newly elected president. I will go to bed tonight praying for tolerance from the naysayers and a willingness for both sides to come together and see this for the "new day" that it is and I will dream that we will rebuild this great country that you and so many of our friends fight for and give up so much of yours lives to leave your families and bring democracy to lands that need it, I will dream and pray that this is the new beginning that we all need, red and blue state, black and white, women and men, we are now all in this together as we always have been.


I love you and truly believe this will improve your career and your service to your country, I am proud that the highest commander you will be serving is a young man who rose from nothing and climbed to the highest position in this land. This is our Man on the Moon, this is our generations historic moment.

I hope I will wake up with birds chirping in the morning knowing that you will be home with your family very soon and we can live this excitement together.

Come home to me soon.

Love

E

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

We love our Holiday's around here! Typically we go way overboard in the decorating, gift giving and general merry making that comes with the late year holidays but it's very important to us to do so! If you don't believe me just look at what the kids and I had going on in our small 1400 square foot house last year. This year will be even more special, the most wonderful guy in the whole world should with all my fingers and toes crossed be home for the first time in a ridiculously long time. I have dream of snuggling in front of one of our 5 Christmas trees with him and a cup of hot chocolate. I have huge Martha Stewart type dreams for this upcoming holiday season and I am hanging on with everything I have hoping they all come true!

Trashy is Fun!

This weekend I had a White Trash Bash at the house! It was a BLAST! I went to Goodwill and picked up new pictures for the house, went to Wal- Mart grabbed some awful fabric to throw over our couch as well as potted meat, PBR, Boones Farm and Pickled Pigs Feet.

It was a busy day for me the day of the party so I was smart enough to do most of the decorating the evening before. Everyone showed up and blew me away with their outfits. This may have been the best party we've had as far as attire goes. I would definitely do this again in! It was easy, cheap, and I consider the whole party to be a big charitable donation since most of the decor was purchased from Goodwill and will all be going back to Goodwill for re-selling.

The Sureal Life

I can't seem to write anything lately, there' so much going on yet I can't put it into words. I'm having this same problem while talking to the hubster and unfortunately he's taking it as me being "emotionally withdrawn" I guess these are the problems couples have after being separated by distance for over 12 months.


It's getting old

Mother Warriors

My son is a beautiful, smart, loving boy, you wouldn't know it by looking at him, but he has Autism. When A was diagnosed, I felt completely lost, I didn't want to deal with the fact that my baby, was not "normal", I sunk myself into denial and went about raising our family as I had before the diagnosis was made. Life was so busy then, we had moved to our new home in Kansas a few months before, I worked full time, V an enormous work load as he geared up for his deployment and I had 2 other children who had very busy schedules as well. My way of coping with things has always been denial, it's easier for me to pretend that the big elephant in the corner just blends in with the wall paper rather than get up close to it and deal with it.
A and I have been struggling this last year, there are things even my closest friends don't know because I fear they won't understand. When people who have no idea what I am dealing with tell me it's normal that my almost 9 year old son chews his shirts until there are holes in the collar, I have thrown away 9 shirts in the last week. Or that it's normal that the first time my son looked me directly in the eyes to "talk" to me was in July when his soul was completely crushed after being kicked out of summer camp. Or that A is an outsider with his peer group, partly of his own volition and partly because I think A makes other children understandably nervous with some of his "radical" behavior, but all of this is "normal" behavior to friends of mine who make me feel small when I feel like I just need to vent, they make me feel like I'm full of it that I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I guess if A had a tumor growing out of the side of his face, then people would understand my feelings, but because A's "deformity" is not visible by the naked eye, then people assume I have a spoiled child that needs more discipline (spanking A does not work his pain receptors barely work) IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!! I am all alone in this, fighting for my child, and I just want someone to HEAR me! Honestly listen without judgement's without prejudice without one upping me with a story about your own child! I am lost here and I need someone to be here with me through this! I need someone who will understand.

I've just finished Reading Mother Warrior's by Jenny McCarthy and it's amazing! One story in particular was so close to A's story that while sitting on the plane trip from Washington DC to Chicago I had tears streaming down my face. It's an amazingly touching collection of stories of Parent's recovering their children's autism and facing down the critics with amazing strength, they give me hope!

**The Picture above is of A and his best friend, his Dad, on the day he left for his Deployment**

Economic Crisis

What a whirlwind my trip to DC was! I will eventually settle in and write all about it, in the mean time, the oldest has a terrible cough, the youngest is having a mental breakdown, the dog has fleas, and the house is in shambles.

My middle kiddo is great though, so there is always that silver lining.